Can I Be Real For A Second?

Can I be real for a sec?

When I set out to make money from home, I was too scared to talk on camera, I didn't have an aesthetic house, I didn't know the first thing about social media, and I was the loneliest I'd ever felt in my life because I was 20 years old with a newborn and none of my friends had kids; so I got left behind.

I will never forget how I would go to bed every night knowing the same lonely pit in my stomach would be there all day the next day.

or how my voice would crack when Blake came home from work because I hadn't actually spoken to a real human all day.

I wanted to escape the loneliness, and find something that made me feel me again.

But I felt like I couldn't leave the house because everything cost money. And we didn't have any to spare.

At Christmas time we didn't have enough money for any of the festivities, or gifts. Our daughter was only 8 months but it still felt sad to have an empty tree.

No one knew of our struggles, and yet somehow someone anonymously dropped off $500 in gift cards at our door a week before Christmas.

I remember looking through the peep hole to see a white van driving away - we didn't know anyone with a white van and still to this day, I have no clue who it could have been or how they could have known our situation.

Either way, I didn't want to feel like this anymore. I was tired of being sad all the time.

So I decided 'what doesn't change, stays the same.'

Something had to change.

Like every stay at home mom in the 2010's I really loved photography - I had started photography before I had my daughter but was so so sick while I was pregnant that I had to stop.

But I was passionate about it and we needed something to change, right?

I started promoting myself as a photographer again; but struggled to get clients - while watching newer more novice photographers get clients like they were blooming on the spot

I cried to my husband about it, not gonna lie. I felt like I was a failure.

But what these people had was a really stinkin good way of presenting themselves on social media - so I knew if I wanted to have the same level of success I would need to learn how.

Guys, I have stage fright so bad I would take F's on school projects if it required me to talk in front of the class.

Plus I had 30lbs of baby weight I was really self conscious about.

But I wanted this. I wanted out. I didn't want to feel that lonely pit of my stomach, can't pay for Christmas, can't leave the house kinda way again.

So that's kinda where this whole journey began

This i kind of a novel, but if you made it to the end of this let me know -

"I want to start using social media for my business, but ___________"